If you wanna scream!

The Dictator does not typically listen to 'grown-up music', but when she does she manages to choose the most highly inappropriate music possible. Listed among her very favorite artists are Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, the "Call me maybe" girl (sorry "Call me maybe girl. I don't know your real name and I'm too lazy to google you) and most recently Usher. Yes, I know these artists have songs that should not be heard by my 2 year olds young and highly impressionable ears, but one can only take so many Wiggles tunes before the suicidal thoughts start to kick in.

In my defense, it started out pretty innocent. "Firework" has a nice message, right? Even "Call me maybe" really doesn't have anything horrible in it. Then along came Usher. And his amazingly over-sexed song "Scream".  We've been listening to the song for awhile now, and I admit that I really didn't stop to listen to the lyrics. I heard lots of "ooh baby baby" and "if you wanna scream, yell". Okay, that seems fine. And look! The Dictator is happy in the backseat and is so cutely singing along! "Oohhh baby. Oooooh baby!" I even downloaded it on her iPod so she could listen to it as much as possible. *face palm* 

I have realized that I need to stop taking the Dictator out in public. 

Shopping the grocery store, the Dictator starts to sing. I, being the tired and perpetually naive parent that I am most mornings, can't help but think "Awww! My kid is really so frickin' cute! Look at everyone looking at her and how cute her little song is!" But then, I notice that the people looking aren't really smiling or making the "awww...." face that I would expect. You have to take in consideration that where we live we are either the youngest people by 30 years or among our peers, the only ones with all our teeth. It's a tough area to fit in to on a normal day. When you have a goose stepping daughter singing Usher, it gets a little harder to blend in.

Of all the lyrics in the song, The Dictator has latched on to the following:
Girl, tonight you're the prey, I'm the hunterTake you here, take you there, take you underImagine me whisperin' in your ear that I wannaTake off all your clothes and put somethin' on ya

And I've tried to fight it, to fight itBut you're so magnetic, magneticGot one life, just live it, just live itNow relax and get on your backIf you wanna scream yeah,

What, what, what??????!!!! The first time she ran through those lyrics, I don't think I believed my ears. The second time (she sung even more clearly! I curse all the time I have spent with this child on annunciation!) I knew exactly what song she was singing. So did everyone else around me. 

The Dictator, who didn't feel like her performance had enough pizzazz then proceeded to shake her little hips and butt and go "ooooooh baby". WTF? I swear at this point the 2-3 75+ year old ladies in the aisle with me looked ready to pass out. The young kid stocking the store started laughing at this point. At least the Dictators performance was amusing to someone. 

We decided we did  not need any more groceries. Time to leave the store!

I do have to admit, that once home and away from the shame looks, I was kinda impressed with my girl. That song, albeit very inappropriate, has some pretty tough lyrics for a 2 year old! The fact that she could sing in time to the music, in tune and with emotion made my heart swell with pride. I mean, it could have been worse. It wasn't say, Nine Inch Nails singing "Closer" or anything. I'm sure she'll have that one memorized by the time she's three though....