Creepy

Sometimes, little kids are just plain creepy. I realize they are living in a world that is half fantasy and half reality. Their gullible little minds eager to believe that at any moment a carousel might spontaneously appear in the backyard, or that Sesame Street really is just right down the road and you just have to know which way to turn. Little kids are the eternal optimists. And it's cute, and fun, and magical, until it's creepy. Then it's not fun anymore.

The Dictator has told me some things that have made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

She told us for a very long time, starting at 18mo old(!!), that she didn't like being in her room at night because the "Doctor" would come and stand over her bed and look at her. Uh....are you creeped out yet??
When probed about what the "doctor" looked like, the Dictator responded "Black wispy shadow with no eyes. He comes out of the closets if you don't close them all the way." I did not sleep for a week after that, and you can bet I checked EVERY closet in our house before bed. The showers too. Just in case. The Dictator slept happily in bed with us not knowing the reason she was allowed to do so was because Mommy was scared out of her mind! I think even the Politician was freaked out. I noticed he carefully closed her closet doors the entire way after that conversation.

Since then, The Dictator has told me equally frightening stories.

One evening, while driving in the car, the Dictator yelled "Look out Momma!" I, of course, freaked out and hit the brakes. Nothing was in the road or appeared to be wrong. The Dictator said "Didn't you see that man in the road? He was crossing the road! When you hit him, he disappeared! Why did you hit him!" I actually considered getting out and looking under my car, but really....I think I would have heard a thump. *Shudder* When we drove off I carefully looked behind me and on the sides of the road. I even checked my car when we got home.

The most recent scary stuff from the Dictator has come in the past week involving mirrors. I noticed while we were getting ready she would say "Hi!" to herself and talk to herself in the mirror. Like she was having a conversation with a real person. She'd tell me how the other her liked to wave and smile back and talk to her. I thought it was kind of cute. She'd tell me that "other Momma" liked when we talked to her too and so I started waving and smiling at myself in the mirror. Well....after this morning....NO MORE!
While brushing the Dictators hair and getting her ready for school, she was talking to her "mirror self". When she was all done and we were leaving the bathroom she said "Bye other me! Stay in the mirror today! You are not supposed to come out. I don't like when you come out and play with my toys! Sometimes you scare me!" I don't think we need mirrors anymore. Yeah. Those have to go. Next time you see me, if I look like a total sea hag, please just ignore it. I'm literally a little paranoid about being alone in my house and going to put my make-up on!

If my two year old can make me this scared, I can only imagine what she's going to do to me as a teenager. I don't stand a chance. I should probably take more cardio classes at the gym to get my heart ready!