Vindicated

Last week was a bit long and lonely for the Dictator and me. All of our friends were sick, and we really just had nothing going on. After a week of sitting around the house, staring at each other and trying to not go crazy, we decided we needed to go somewhere. Anywhere. Just get us out of the house for a few hours!

I've been dying to go to the antique mall near our house for awhile now. With our upcoming move, I'm feeling compelled to hunt and gather new treasures for our new space. Although I have no idea what that new space will look like just yet. I decided we really do need a new coffee table. Must have one. Cannot live without a new one. Our house will be totally hideous unless we immediately get a new coffee table! This may have been due to the fact I was staring at our current coffee table all week long, noticing every tiny, minuscule little scratch and flaw that thing has. But no! I think not! I think it's really just that horrendous, and we NEED a new one. Now.

The Dictator and I had a little chat about where we were going.

Me: "There's old things there. Older than Momma! They are all very fragile and we can't touch them. We just look with our eyes. Okay?"

The Dictator: "Older than Momma? Like what? Chairs?"

Me: "Umm...yeah. Chairs.....and other stuff" (Chairs? I guess it could have been worse. I think I just got off pretty easy on that one!)

The Dictator: "Are there toys?"

After another lengthy explanation that there would, in fact, be toys, we were set to go.

We pulled  up in front of the antique mall

The Dictator: "Oooooh! The MALL! It says MALL!"

The Dictator can read very few words at this point, but if it has anything to do with shopping, she pretty much reads at a college level. 

Inside the 'mall', the Dictators eyes got huge. My little magpie and I share a love of shiny things, old things, interesting things, and well, just things. I swear sometimes that I am raising a hoarder. Fights over throwing away little things, even candy bar wrappers in our house can be a bit intense at times.

The Dictator: "Momma! That wrapper is so beeeeeautiful! It says SNICKERS! I READ it for you! I neeeeeeed to keep it! Puleeease?!"

Oi yoi yoi!

The Dictator and I began to wander the aisles of the mall. She was really so excited to point to what she felt was a treasure, and to make sure I saw every single coffee table we passed by. After the first two aisles, we were both really getting into it. My beautiful little girl could not have been better behaved. I was insanely proud of my little 2 year old and her manners in the store. And then.....

An old lady and her husband came around the corner. She smiled at me and then noticed the Dictator. Immediately the smile became a scowl. 

When you live in our part of the world (most people come to our neighborhood to die) you get used a certain attitude from old people. We will either get a doting Grandma who wants to touch the Dictator and talk about how her kids abandoned her. Probably for petting them too much. Or we get the old lady that doesn't want to ever see children again. The Dictator calls those women witches. I refuse to correct her.

The witch scowled at the Dictator. The Dictator scowled back. The witch felt she must say something. I could see the ugly word bubble forming over her head. Here it comes...
The witch: "Some people are just soooooo irresponsible! Taking a baby to an antique store! That baby is going to break everything in here! Some people are just sooooo rude! I cannot believe this!"

The Dictator: Thinking very hard about what the best thing to do would be responded by waving at the witch and in her very sweet little voice saying "Hello witch! How are you?"

Ah...I love my child. We could have left the store now and I could have died a happy death. But..our day gets better!

The Dictator and I decided to stay and shop some more. Why let the witch ruin our fun. We completed two more aisles before our next encounter.

The witch spotted the Dictator rounding the corner. The witch reared back a bit, as if she was afraid of the Dictator and the 'damage' she may be coming to inflict on the store and possibly even herself. Just as the Dictator came around the corner the witch stepped backwards and bumped into a large table full of very breakable dishware. Luckily her husband caught the few items that fell and nothing broke. 

Ahhh....vindication! The Dictator and I merrily finished up the remaining aisles. The witch and her husband vacated the store immediately following the incident. Ha ha! 

Now, I'm not saying antique shopping is a great activity for all preschoolers, but I think the Dictator and I have a new hobby to share. One bird pillow, a little leaf soap dish and a California Raisin toy later, the Dictator and I went home in much better moods. No coffee table was found that day. I'm excited to take a tour to the larger antique mall to hunt next week. I wonder what type of witches we'll encounter there!