Opinionated

The Dictator is opinionated. No....I take that back. The Dictator is OPINIONATED.
She knows what she wants. She knows when she wants it. She will tell you, loudly, if you are not listening.
When it's important, she won't put up with not getting her way.

This is not a new phase, or a part of becoming three. This is the Dictator. This is the way she has always been. And you know what? Opinions are good!

In the course of the last week, I have heard multiple parents talk about how their children 'can't pick what they like yet' or 'don't know what's going on anyways' or 'can't have an opinion on things because they are too young'. I try to avoid hearing these people talk, because I feel an overwhelming urge arise to beat them over the head and then ask them if they have an 'opinion' on what I just did. Is this really what parents think of their children? Tonight a friend told me that she knows someone who also believes that young children are not able to make their own choices on things or have an opinion. It was the last straw. I have been seething inside all night, and unable to control the crazy building up inside, I blog to you now.

Babies come out of the womb making choices, and having opinions. From how they like to be swaddled, feeding positions or what bottles they like, where they like to sleep or what lullaby comforts them, babies are born with preferences. To say that babies cannot have an opinion is so ludicrous, I wonder why these people are allowed to raise children. Children are just small people. They are not an alien race. They are people! People with OPINIONS! How would you feel if everyone you knew made all the choices in your life for you and never once asked how you felt about it because "you don't know what you want anyways"?

The difference between 'them' and 'us' (as adults) is that we can vocalize our opinions. Speech is a powerful tool, my friends. It's one the Dictator learned early on, and has become an expert at using. I thank the good Lord for that. Although she attempts daily (hourly. eh..minute-ly) to drive me to the brink of insanity with it.

Just because your child does say they mind wearing that purple and pink dress with the giant smiling panda on the front does not mean they are not silently swearing in their own language at you in their mind. When you blast 'your music' in the car, for all you know your child is judging you and thinking "Good God lady! Turn on the Raffi!"

We, as parents, are not raising giant baby dolls that will someday become young adults. We have people in front of us, right now, from the very first time you lay eyes on them.

Although I usually try to impart humor into my tales of the Dictator, tonight I just feel sad. Listen to your children. Ask them what they want and what they like. Even if they don't directly answer you with words, is this not an important part of being a parent, to communicate with your child? Make them feel important and like their wants are desires are being listened to. They are small. They depend on YOU to listen and care about their feelings. If you treat your child like an unintelligent blob, you will get an unintelligent blob. You get what you give. Give a lot. There's no magic age when your child is 'old enough' to make their own choices. The time is now. Your JOB as a parent is to guide them through those choices and wants and help them realize what is truly important. For them. Not for you.

Off my soap box now and into bed to watch "Nightmare before Christmas" for the 100,000 time, because that's what my daughter chose to watch and asked so nicely if we could. I'm happy to take the time to listen to her and her requests. Some day, too soon she'll be off on her own in the world making choices all by herself. Until then, I'm here for her and I promise to listen carefully to her requests, even on the odd occasion she does not use words.