Traffic magic

The Dictator and I do not like traffic. We drive. A lot. Our typical week usually logs over 400 miles on the odometer and of those 400+ miles, at least 395 of them are used up just by us driving around together.

In an effort to keep the Dictator amused in the car, I taught her a game my mother showed me when I was little. Traffic light magic!

When you roll up to a red light, using the powers of your mind and your index finger like a wand, you can magically turn the light green if you wish hard enough. The Dictator, who albeit very clever, is also still only 2, and totally believes I have magical traffic powers. We stop at a red light, I watch the opposite light until it starts changing to yellow and then "concentrate on the light and wish it green!" The Dictator has been fascinated with my skills, and it's been a fabulous way to pass time in the car. Until today.....

We approach a red light
The Dictator: "Momma! The light is red! Quick! I will wish it green!"
I never said *she* had traffic powers!
The light is nowhere close to turning green. It just turned red. Stupid, effing traffic light. The Dictator is going to freak out any second!
The Dictator: "Momma! I'm concentrating! Why isn't the light turning green?"
She's in the backseat in her carseat grunting and straining to 'concentrate' now. Her face is actually getting quite red.
The Dictator: "MOMMA!!! The light is still red! My magic powers are broken! Oh no!!"
Now the Dictator is starting to cry. I feel like an ass, since I started this game with her. Although, I reiterate...I never told her SHE had magic powers!
The Dictator: "Momma! You do it! We need to go! I will help you concentrate!"
The Dictator is still grunting, groaning and now resembles a ripe tomato.
Thankfully, the light is now getting ready to turn green. Whew.
Me: "Say it with me....Green, green, green light!" The Dictator repeats it with me.
Magic! The light turns green!
The Dictator: "Momma! You did it! I helped you! When I get bigger, I can do it all by myself too, right?"
Me: "Yes!! Of course you can!" Hurray! She gave me an out on this one! This is actually going to end well!
The Dictator: "Fuck traffic. Let's go! Oh....and I think when I concentrated a little poop came out."
Oh dear...........